What happened to my sex drive?
Riddle me this. Why are there so many ‘performance enhancing’ medications for the mens, but we women are kind of forgotten about when it comes to the desire stakes, especially around the time of menopause (when up to 50% of women say their libido takes a nosedive).
Why is that? I think it’s partly because for women their biggest sex organ is their brain, so if we’re not in the mood, we’re not in the mood and that’s difficult to prescribe for… (one just approved in the US is anti-depressant based, heavens!!!)
There are, however, some pretty compelling reasons why you might notice a decline in desire.
Reasons for lack of desire
Hormones:
The key players are oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone. But it’s testosterone that is the major desire driver and that declines by about 50% over time. Eek.
Lack of oestrogen can cause vaginal dryness (read about this here), making sex uncomfortable and sometimes downright painful.
Hot flushes:
Hot under the collar, but not in a good way! Flushes can leave you tired and irritable, not a great recipe for desire.
Insomnia:
Can’t sleep, tired through the day, rinse, repeat – no recipe for romance.
Stress:
This is a biggie. Stress, worry and depression will all take a huge toll on your sex drive.
What you can do about it
We’re all about the solutions here, so here’s some top tips to get you in the mood.
Book in for our Libido workshop in July. I’ve teamed up with two amazing women to bring your this very special event. Tickets are limited, so don’t delay in booking.
Reduce dryness with moisturizers and/or lubricants (read about which ones here)
Watch your diet
Whilst a carb laden, high fat diet won’t directly affect your libido, it will influence how you feel physically and mentally. Ensure you get plenty of Omega-3s and good quality protein
Rest up
A recent study found that women who get enough sleep are much more likely to experience sexual interest or pleasure.
Get moving
Studies show that 20 minutes of exercise helps with happiness and general well-being. A great recipe for romance if ever there was.
Communicate
Talk with your partner about what you like and how you are feeling. As a wise person once said, ‘a problem shared, is a problem halved’.
HRT
Talk to your GP about your options. On that note, I’m seeing far too may women prescribed anti-depressants as the first line for menopausal symptoms, when HRT may be a better solution.
Manage your stress
I will tell you this to my dying day. During the menopausal years, many of us see a huge reduction in our resilience to stress. If you do nothing else, look after your head space.
If you are struggling with the changes, please reach out. As I always say, you should not be doing menopause alone.
Until next time, you know what to do… keep being Great and remember to embrace the change (one hot flush at a time).
Marnie
P.S If you haven’t already done so, make sure you download your FREE Survivor’s Guide to Menopause (did I say it’s free?).
P.P.S Know someone in perimenopause, please share this with them.